


To Save A Life (Killugon/Gonkillu one-shot)

by Icarukoko



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Boyfriends, Depression, Gay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarukoko/pseuds/Icarukoko
Summary: Gon's startled awake at midnight when he hears glass shattering in the apartment above his. The sound is followed by many crashing sounds. He takes the stairs, concerned and curious. He hears muffled sobbing on the other side of the door when he knocks.Killua opens the door, tears dried. The all-too kind Gon asks about the noises, but Killua just turns him away after thanking him for his concern.But Gon isn't satisfied. And he won't be until the unknown situation on the other side of Killua's door is resolved.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	To Save A Life (Killugon/Gonkillu one-shot)

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Killua flinches from the harsh words and the slap across his cheek coming from his boyfriend. "Can't you do anything?! You good for nothing worthless slut?!"

Killua falls to the ground as result from a kick to the gut. He chokes back a sob as he holds his stomach.

"I- I'm sorry..."

The man standing over him glares. "Sorry doesn't cut it, bitch."

Killua props himself up into a sitting position with shaky arms. He looks up at his boyfriend with tears in his eyes.

The boyfriend scowls. "Don't you dare look at me like that, you pathetic scum. Clean up this mess. I need to sleep off this headache you've given me."

Killua nods as the other goes into his bedroom. He sighs, leaning against the tatted couch as he lets himself sob.

Gon bolts upright in his bed, startled by the sudden noises upstairs. He stretches his limbs outwards and slides into some fuzzy gray slippers.

Gon walks out the door and takes the stairs to the next floor. He finds the apartment above his and knocks. He yawns, stretching out again.

Gon hears nothing so he goes to knock again, but then he hears the sobs from the other side.

Gon's eyes widen, and his heart starts beating heavily. He's filled with worry and concern. He knocks again.

The sobbing stops abruptly. A moment later the door opens up, and Gon sees his white haired neighbor. They had crossed paths a few times at the apartment mailbox or the Cafe around the corner, but they had never really interacted.

The boy's tears are dried and there's almost no evidence that he was crying at all in the first place. Gon gives him a small, kind smile.

"Uhm, Killua, right?"

"Y-yeah. What are you doing here?"

Gon's smile falters for a brief moment. "I, uh... I live right below and I heard some crashing noises. I-I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Killua gives Gon a skeptical look. He surveys Gon's attire- sweatpants, a tank top, and slippers. "Sorry. Must've been the wind or something."

Gon's lips form a tight line. He's about to object, but he'd rather not push any buttons. "Alright. Goodnight, then."

Killua nods. "Goodnight. Thanks for checking on me, that's really nice of you."

Gon grins. "Yeah, no problem."

Killua shuts the door and looks behind him at the mess. Blood and a few broken vases. A toppled over dresser. He sighs, and starts cleaning up. He ignores the blood constantly pouring down his forearms. He cuts his finger on a glass shard, but pays no mind.

Finally after having everything sort of back to normal, Killua heads to the bathroom to clean up his wounds. He can't even feel the sting of the alcohol as it cleanses the newly formed deep caverns of his wrist. He knows the rumor that hydrogen peroxide stunts the healing process, and if he's being honest, he's glad it does. That means it'll hurt for a longer period of time.

He wraps his arms, mindful not to wrap it too thick. Otherwise people would notice it through his long sleeves. Killua deals with enough as it is, he doesn't want to have to deal with strangers' concern. Fake or honest.

Killua steps out of the bathroom cautiously, careful not to wake the sleeping monster in the bedroom. His abusive boyfriend.

He slips into a pair of shoes, a light sweater, and heads outside unnoticed.

Killua breathes in the crisp midnight air, the scent of alcohol and gasoline stinging his nostrils.

His shoes clack against the stairwell as he heads down. When he gets to the parking lot, he sits on a curb and takes out his pack of cigarettes. Only to realize he left his lighter in the apartment. And he's feeling too lazy to go back up and get it.

"Here." A voice comes up behind him. Some man sits next to him, holding out a lit lighter. Killua puts the cig in his mouth and leans over. The stranger lights the cig. Killua meets his eyes and recognizes him as his neighbor, Gon. Who had come up to check on him earlier.

"You're still up?" Killua asks, breathing out a ring of smoke.

"Yeah." Gon shrugs, lighting a cigarette of his own, taking a quick hit. "I seem to have lost all drowsiness."

Killua nods, inhaling more smoke. His arms itch. He forgot to put lidocaine on to keep it from itching. But he wanted to feel the pain.

It's a full moon this night, the shades of it's light complement Killua beautifully. And the albino can't help but think that this would be a rather pleasant scene, if not for the fact that his bandages are slowly being soaked through.

Gon looks at the gorgeous boy next to him. Something's wrong, Gon knows. But he doesn't know what, and he doesn't want to intrude.

Killua's head lulls to the side lazily. His whole life seems like one big joke to him at the moment. How he ran away from a prosperous life with mansions and luxury, only to trade it for some dingy apartment and an abusive boyfriend. The punch line being that instead of finally being happy, he's now suicidal, just waiting for the day he'll completely break.

After getting back to his apartment, Killua closes the door behind him silently. Without disturbing his lover, he slips into the spare bedroom. He curls up underneath the covers, sobbing completely silently. Tears running down without the soft cries to accompany them. It's all Killua can do.

Gon rubs his eyes, waking up in the early morning to the sound of sirens right outside his door.

He gets up to check what's going on.

It seems the officers are on the floor above him, Killua's apartment. Through the grated platform, Gon can make out three cops, Killua, another man, and a woman that lives next door to Killua named Margaret.

"It's really nothing, officer." The unidentified man next to Killua smiles. "My boyfriend was making breakfast and knocked over some dishes, that's all."

"Breakfast? At three am?" Marg scoffs.

The officer looks to the boys. "We're going to take a look inside, if you don't mind."

Killua looks at his boyfriend cautiously. The boyfriend smiles. "Of course! Come on in."

The three officers step into Killua's apartment. There's a knocked over rack and some broken glass on the kitchen floor.

The one officer sighs. "Well. It appears that your story checks out."

"Sir this isn't the first time-" Margaret starts, cut off by Killua's boyfriend.

"The babe is a cluts, what can I say?" Killua's boyfriend chuckles, patting Killua on the back. Killua tenses up at the contact, which Margaret doesn't fail to notice.

Margaret, a kind woman in her 40s, eyes Killua. She notices the way he holds his wrists, his twisted lip, his puffy eyes, the slight runniness of his nose, his red ears, his disheveled hair, the slight raise in elevation on his wrists underneath his long sleeves from all of the bandages, the way he leans away from his boyfriend.

She sees right through all of it.

Gon hides underneath his doorframe, listening in on everything that goes on.

The officers eventually leave, and Marg hesitantly goes back into her own apartment. Until her door is closed, her sympathetic eyes don't leave Killua.

Gon empties his laundry basket into a washer, using the provided soap to fill the compartment before starting it up. The door opens up, and Killua comes in with a basket of laundry.

"Morning." Gon smiles.

Killua nods at him. "Morning."

Killua opens up the washer next to Gon and goes through the same process. He drops a shirt on the ground, though. Both him and Gon reach down to grab it. As Killua's arm outstretches, his sleeve is pulled up a bit, revealing a bit of his bandages.

Gon's eyes widen, seeing the cloth wrapped around Killua's wrist. Living up the shirt, Killua quickly tugs his sleeve back down.

"K-"

"You didn't see anything." Killua warns.

"But-"

"Please." Killua pleads, lowering his head, pressing start on the wash.

Gon gulps. The way Killua pleaded... it doesn't sit well with him. "But Killua-"

"It's none of your business." Killua states. "So please. Just ignore it."

Gon can't just ignore something like that. It goes against every bit of his nature. Every fiber of his being is aching to know what's going on. How he can help. He doesn't even know Killua. But he can't... he can't just ignore this. He needs to do something about it. Or he'll hate himself.

Killua pulls out his phone and sets an alarm for ten minutes before the washer finishes, and he leaves before Gon can question him.

Gon sighs, watching the door close. It really is none of his business... but...

The next day Gon has to go to the pharmacy for more daily vitamins. He's running low. As he's browsing aisles, he sees something he'd never heard of before.

"Liquid bandages..?" He raises an eyebrow, looking over directions and ingredients. He looks it up on Google, too. "Huh."

He puts it in the cart. He figures he'll give it to Killua so he won't have to wear those bulky wrappings. He seemed pretty self-conscious of them.

He finishes at the pharmacy and starts walking back home. When he gets to the driveway he sees Killua sitting on the curb again. Smoking.

Gon smiles as he walks right over to him before sitting down at Killua's side. Killua raises an eyebrow at him as Gon rummages through his few bags for the liquid bandages.

"Here." Gon offers it to Killua.

Killua takes the item. "What..."

"That way you don't have to wear all those bulky bandages." Gon tells him.

Killua's cheeks take on a light pink shade. "Oh. Thanks..."

Gon smiles. "I won't ask questions. I know you probably wouldn't answer anyways. If anything you'd try to avoid me. And I don't want that."

Killua lifts his head to look Gon in the eyes as he continues.

"But I want you to know. If you ever do want to talk... or you just want to be near someone who won't judge you. I'm right here, just a staircase away." Gon grins.

Killua's eyes widen and he sits straight up. His mouth opens up a bit, before closing, and opening a little bit again.

Gon sighs, hoisting himself up so he's standing again. "Well, unless you need anything, I'm going to go put this stuff away. I'll see you later."

Killua smiles, nodding. "Yeah I... I'll see you later, Gon."

Gon smiles as he heads into his apartment. He sets the bags on the kitchen counter and starts organizing it in a cabinet above his fridge. When he's done he starts washing dishes from his breakfast before the food hardens on.

Meanwhile Killua takes one last drag of his cigarette before going back up the stairs. In the middle of the staircase he runs into Margaret.

"Good afternoon, miss." Killua smiles.

Margaret sighs, smiling. "Good afternoon, Killua. Listen, I've been hearing things from your apartment for so long. If there's anyth-"

"I'm fine, Marg. Really." Killua chuckles, smiling. "As Ross said, I'm a real cluts."

Marg narrows her eyes. "Killua we both know that's a load of bull-"

"Killua?" Ross looks out from there apartment. He sees Killua with Margaret and glares. "Killua, come on. Get inside before you catch a cold."

Killua gulps. When Ross fakes concern it always means the worst is waiting for Killua. He turns back to Marg and gives her a weak smile.

"Sorry, I've gotta get going." He tells her.

Margaret reaches for Killua, but refrains from grabbing him by the wrist. If her intuition is right, then she'd not want to tear open any wounds, or hurt him at all.

"Alright. Have a nice day, Killua." She smiles.

Ross shuts the door behind them carefully. "What the fuck was that all about?" He asks.

Killua flinches from the tone in his voice. "She just asked how my day was going... we ended up making small talk about the weather and stuff..."

Ross glares. "Oh so you were just having an innocent little talk?"

"Ye-"

"Bullshit!"

Killua jumps.

"Don't you dare lie to me!" He grabs Killua by his hair and pulls his head towards him. "You ungrateful little shit. You were crying for help, weren't you? Do you realize how much I've given you? What you'd be without me?!"

Killua swallows the urge to talk back. To defend himself. It'll only get worse if he does. Or so he believes.

"Make yourself dinner. I need to go into town." Ross throws Killua onto the ground. "I won't be back tonight."

Killua nods, still sitting on the floor until Ross leaves. Then he gets up, and goes to the kitchen to see what kinds of options he has. As usual, nothing. He could really use his mother's inexplicable talent for turning what seems like no food into a feast.

Mom...

Killua clenches his fists. Tears start forming in the corners of his eyes.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, mom.

Killua sits with his back against the fridge, knees to his face which he buries in them.

I want to go home.

Killua then gets an idea. Ross won't be back tonight. He could go back. Go back to the home he left behind because of his pathetic teenage angst years ago. The home of the only people that have ever loved him.

But he can't just leave Ross like that... he knows he should. For his own sake. But as abusive as their relationship is, Killua still holds onto the hope that deep down Ross still loves him. Because Killua loves Ross. They've been together for almost five years now. And those first three years were bliss. Ross is just going through a rough patch. Deep down he's a better person. He doesn't mean it when he hurts Killua. He just needs to take all his bottled up emotions out on someone.

If that someone is Killua, so be it.

Killua sighs, shakily getting up onto his feet. He needs to clear his head. A smoke would do just the trick.

So he goes outside, locking the apartment behind him. He didn't bother with a hoodie. It's warm and thanks to those liquid bandages, he doesn't even have to wear long sleeves. Once the liquid hardens it looks enough like skin to easily fool someone at first glance.

He takes out a cigarette, lights it, and starts walking to the nearest food chain restaurant. He takes a long drag from the cig before sitting at a public bench for a minute.

Some old timer is sitting on the other side of the bench, smoking from an old fashioned pipe. Killua would guess he's in his seventies. It's a wonder the old man is still alive at such an age if he still smokes.

"Ain't nuhtin' like a good ol' smoke to getcher mind offa shit, eh?" The old man chuckles.

Killua nods. "Ain't that true." He scoffs.

"Don't see many youngsters smokun these days. Everuhthang's gotta be electric. Even somethun as timeless as a good smoke." The man sighs.

The two sit in a comfortable silence, drawling their smoke and sighing. Taking in the peaceful scene of the mild metropolis that they're just outside of. From the outskirts of town, all those traffic jams and mobs of pedestrians and chaos, it all seems so distant. So far out there. It's peaceful here.

Killua smiles. "Say, want to get some McDonald's, old man?"

The man chuckles. "And ruin this girlish figure?"

The two start laughing, and this is the best Killua's felt in a long time. "No but really, would you want to?"

The old geezer grins. "Hell yeah."

Killua stands and squanders his cig into the ground. He offers the old man a hand and helps him to his feet. The old man stretches, popping his back, before grabbing his cane. The two man's their way to a McDonald's just a few blocks away.

They order a rather heart-attack inducing meal, which Killua was hesitant due to the geezer's old age. The old man reassured him that he usually eats way unhealthier foods. And it hasn't killed him yet.

They take a seat and wait for their number to be called.

"I didn't cetch yer name, fella." The old geezer mentions. "I'm Christopher Helens."

Killua smiles. "Killua Zoldyck."

"Ain't that a peculiar name." The old man laughs.

"I guess it is." Killua chuckles. "But I'm not really from around here. Just moved from my family's estate in Florida six years ago."

"Ain't it an odd name there, too?" Christopher scoffs.

Killua shrugs. "Yeah. My parents are from Japan."

Chris grins. "Ain't it an odd n-"

"Yes it is!" Killua laughs. "Alright, I'm done making excuses. It's just a really weird name."

"Weird and badass." The old man grins. "I can see that being the name of a family mob. Or yakuza, I guess. Since you're Japanese."

Killua scoffs. "Yeah."

"Your food, sirs." A woman sets down their food.

"Thank you ma'am." Chris grins.

She smiles before getting back to work. Chris turns to Killua, who's got a Big Mac half stuffed in his face.

"So, kid," Christopher starts. "Seems you've got a rough patch in life, eh?" He points to Killua's arms.

Killua blinks, swallowing. Maybe he should've worn long sleeves after all. "Uhm... you could say that."

Chris nods. "I get it. You remind me a lot of my late son, yknow. Kid was rather quiet and shy till you got to know him. Once y'did, he was the wildest card of the bunch. He didn't like talking bout his issues, or being what he saw as a burden, so I didn't know what was goin on with him until it was too late."

Killua's eyes widen. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Chris smiles. "Oh that was over twenty years ago. I've grown tired of hearin those words. But my point is, son, I'm a great listener when given the chance. An even better story teller, so I've been told. And you're a great kid. Got a lot in common, you and me. Why don't you come by that bench every once in a while? I'm there half the time."

Killua smiles, picking up his burger again. "Yeah... I'll do that."

When Killua gets home, he has a goofy smile on his face. Even his eyes smile, a rarity from him. Gon's just leaving for work, he's got night shift tonight. Another rarity.

Gon freezes when he sees Killua. He'd never seen the boy genuinely smile. At all. Ever. And now he's convinced it may just be the most beautiful thing to ever grace the earth. His heart practically stops.

"Killua... hi." Gon smiles, awe-struck.

Killua makes eye contact and giggles a little. "Hey. You going out?"

Gon nods. "M... mhm. I've got work."

Killua waves, heading to the staircase. "Alright. Gnight!"

"G-Goodnight!" Gon grins, waving back.

When Killua's gone, Gon's hand flies to his mouth faster than Saitama swatting a mosquito, a blush spreading across his face.

"Oi Freecss, careful!" Gon's boss sighs. "Geez kid. Where's your head? You're usually the most level headed of the bunch."

Gon chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry, sir... just got my head wrapped around something. I'll snap out of it."

Mr. Boss sighs again, longer. "Alright, just.. if you're going to space out, don't do it when operating a forklift?"

Gon nods. "Yes sir."

When the boss is out of sight, Gon sighs in relief. He can't get Killua's smile out of his head. That beautiful, tantalizing, captivating, priceless smile. Gon's heart speeds up, remembering the sight. He shakes his head, attempting to clear his thoughts as he continues to move stocks of supplies in the forklift. But he can't shake it. The way Killua smiled. How it was like a lightning bolt straight into Gon's heart, causing his heart to pump rapidly. An electric jolt that got his blood flowing faster than ever.

When Gon gets home, he takes out a cigarette to calm his nerves. Even after eight hours of work, the feeling remains. And the image of Killua's smile is still stuck in his head.

Gon squanders the cig in a bowl just for that outside his door before he unlocks his apartment. He hangs his coat at the door, kicks off his shoes, and strips off his bothersome pants. He leaves the garment in a basket. Leaving him in his white t-shirt, black boxer-briefs, and grey socks.

Gon takes a cup of ramen from his cupboards, fills it with some water, and pops it in the microwave. He checks the time, 6:12 am. Usually he'd be waking up at this time, getting ready for the day before leaving for work at noon. But one of the night shift workers called in sick, so Gon's boss offered him the following day off, with pay, if he were to come in at night. Meaning Gon doesn't have to work today.

His ramen is done and Gon takes it to the couch. He can't sleep, not with the way Killua got his heart racing. Gon surfs Netflix, looking for something to watch.

Killua slept soundly, knowing his boyfriend wasn't home. Now he brushes his teeth, takes a shower, and gets changed. He slips on a long sleeved black shirt, and jean shorts with white and purple sneakers. He clips a choker around his neck and grabs his wallet, walking out the door. It's been a while since he's left the house with a smile on his lips.

Killua finds his way to the public bench where of course, he sees Christopher. Killua grins as he runs over, taking a seat next to the old man. "Goooood morning!" Killua laughs.

Christopher scoffs. "Aw, happy to see me, eh?"

Killua rolls his eyes. "Are you not?"

"I'm glad ye came back." Chris grins. "Seems I didn't scare ye off."

Killua huffs. "Oh yeah, you're real terrifying alright."

"So, how'd ye sleep?" Chris asks.

"I actually slept." Killua smiles. "For once."

"That's good, good..." Christopher sighs, watching the clouds. "D'you know why I sit here on this bench everuh mornin?"

"Why?" Killua asks, pulling his leg up to rest his cheek on his knee.

"To get a new perspective." Christopher states. "Y'see that woman across the street with those three kids? She comes to that bakery every morning, to encourage her niece that just started her first job. The niece's name is Ophelia, and she's just this sixteen year old ball of sunshine, hopes, and dreams. She's four months pregnant, and she started working so that she could save up for her daughter that will arrive in five months. That kid over there, holding that sign, he's eight. His name is Boyd. Working six hours a day, seven days a week, to help provide for his family. His mother is in the hospital with cancer and his father is on happy pills. His father works overtime everyday and Boyd is an only child. But what people see isn't their lives. What they see is this cute little boy with the brightest of smiles, greeting people cheerfully and directing them to any place that will give him a sign. They see a reckless girl that got pregnant at sixteen, working at a bakery so she can have some spending money."

"How do you know all this?"

"I've been sitting at this bench every morning for the past twenty years. I've become a familiar face around here, one everyone feels comfortable opening up to. I can't tell you how many stories I've heard, how many lives I've witnessed. When I look at someone I don't see what my eyes see. I see everything that's lead to that moment." Christopher tells him. "I love talking to people, getting to know them. Hell I've probably met half the country by now. I'd write a book about it all if I had any sense of grammar."

"So..." Killua sighs. "I'm next, then?"

"If you want to talk about it, my ears are always listening." Chris smiles.

"It's a really long story. Really, really long story."

"All the best ones are."

Killua sighs. "It started eight years ago... I was fourteen, rebellious. My parents are wealthy and wanted me to be their successor. I hated being chained down to that. It wasn't even that bad, they're loving parents. My siblings are amazing. But all my naive teenage heart could see was my burdensome responsibilities. Which even then, weren't really a burden. I was just spoiled, lazy. So... I went to parties, I got drunk, I fooled around. Got an STI once, too. All to get back at my parents who really didn't do anything to deserve it. I was petty. Then... when I was sixteen I ran away. Just for the heck of it. Just to hurt them."

"When I got here, to the city, I realized what I'd done. I broke down, crying in the rain at the bus stop. But I was too stubborn to go back. Afraid of the looks in the faces of my family. I knew they'd want me to come back, that they'd be happy to see me. But I didn't want to see them cry over me. It'd mean that I was in the wrong all along. So I stayed. But I didn't have any means of shelter. No birth certificate, social security number. I had nothing to get me by other than a few hundred bucks I always kept stashed in my wallet. I didn't even have a driver's license. Then..."

"I met this guy. I was sleeping on a park bench and this guy my age, in his high school uniform, came over and woke me up. He was cute, kind. He asked me what I was doing there. With him being so nice, I broke. I told him everything. That night I slept on his couch, and his mom fed me until I nearly exploded. We had so much fun... after a year or so of being best friends, we started dating. It was amazing. He was so sweet and caring, never pushing any boundaries I set. He respected me, he'd spoil me rotten. He was my dream guy. But... in the last two years things have changed. He changed. He's been temperamental, violent, abusive..."

"And every day I bend to his will. I do whatever he wants, I let him lash out at me. I let him use me. Every day. And I know... it's terrible. And I should leave him. But I can't... I really can't. I have nowhere to go. And I still love him. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I need to get away from him, I stay. I hold onto that hope that maybe... it's just a phase. Maybe he's just going through something. Maybe if I'm there for him, he'll change again, for the better. Maybe he still loves me. I've been harming myself for over a year now. Ridiculous, really."

Christopher nods. "Well, I know a thing or two about abusive relationships. Now I'd say move in with me but I don't think the nursing home would much like that idea." Chris laughs. "Isn't there anyone that might be willing to let you stay for a few days?"

"You're my only friend here." Killua shrugs. "I don't get out much at all."

"Where do your parents live, again? You mentioned it the other day.."

"Florida." Killua sighs. "Which is over 3,000 miles away..."

Chris nods. "Whatever the case, son. You need to get away from that boy. Even if it's just a phase, it's hurting you. You don't have to put up with someone else's bullshit like that."

"How?"

"I dunno." Christopher sighs. "I'd suggest going back home. To yer family. It's the best thing to do for yourself."

Killua sighs. "I know...."

But I'm scared.

"Good morning Killua!" Gon grins, just leaving for a run after a two hour power nap.

Killua smiles. "Oh, morning Gon. Thought you'd still be asleep since you had the night shift."

Gon shrugs. "I took a nap, but I'm all good now."

"Where are you going?"

"Just for a run. Maybe get something to eat along the way." Gon rocks a little on his neon green and black running shoes.

Killua thinks for a moment. He doesn't really want to go back into his apartment. When Ross is home, he's in pain. When Ross is gone, Killua feels alone. The apartment as a whole is just this looming nest of negativity.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Killua asks.

Gon stutters, not expecting that. "N-not at all!"

Killua smiles. "Thanks."

"No problem." Gon grins, walking.

"How far do you usually run?" Killua asks as they start walking out of the parking lot.

"Depends on how much I've been smoking lately." Gon laughs, and Killua laughs along.

"Alright." Killua looks around both sides of the street outside the apartment building. "Which way?"

"Hm..." Gon ponders. "Do you prefer the scenic or city route?"

"Let's go with the scenic route."

"To the right, then." Gon takes the turn, Killua by his side. They start jogging. "So, I don't really care, but how far do you want to go?"

Killua shrugs. "I really don't care, either."

Gon laughs. "Well, we'll figure it out at some point."

Killua chuckles, and they both pick up their pace a little bit. Soon they're out of the city, entering more rural areas. The side walk disappears and Gon leads Killua to a trail along the road, about ten feet into the woods. There's apple trees, plumb trees, cherry trees, pine trees.

"Is this an orchard?" Killua asks.

Gon scoffs. "You don't get out much, do you? These trees grow like cancer around this part of Washington state."

"I had no idea..."

"There are over a thousand different types of apple trees just within ten miles of where we are right now." Gon explains. "Not all of Washington is like that, of course. It's literally the most diverse place in the world when it comes to ecosystems and geography. But here closer to the Idaho border, we have more naturally grown fruit trees than anyone could guess. Even though the Eastern border is more widely known for farming and Washington State University."

"Really?" Killua raises an eyebrow. "I've lived here for six years..."

"We have tropical rainforests, deserts, mountain ranges, glaciers, rolling hills, vast forests, farm lands, rivers, islands, and more. All in one state." Gon grins. "Washingtonians are pretty proud of it."

"Huh." Killua hums. "Are these apples edible?"

"Of course they are. All of them. The plumbs and cherries, too. So long as they don't have any bug holes in them, you can just dust them off on your shirt and eat them." Gon reaches up and picks a bright green apple. "Not only do they taste amazing, they smell amazing. Usually you'd have to cut into an apple to smell it at all. But these are extremely potent in the best ways."

They stop running for a moment and Gon hands Killua the apple. Killua rubs it off with his shirt and sniffs it.

"Woah-" Killua's eyes widen. "That's a really strong smell. Are you sure this is edible? It's tiny... the size of a newborn's fist."

Gon nods. "Those ones are the best. And bugs absolutely hate them, so you'll almost never have to worry about finding one in an apple."

Killua shrugs, taking his word for it, and bites into the apple. It's beyond sweet, way sweeter than any apple he's ever tasted. He's always thought that the smaller the apple, the more sour.

"What's this type called?" Killua asks.

"No idea." Gon shrugs. "I've only found three trees that I think all have that type of apple. But who knows, maybe they're all actually different species of apples."

"It's really good..." Killua hums as he takes another bite.

"They make for an amazing apple pie. I bring some to a bakery not too far from our apartments every week. They make the best apple fritters, pies, etcetera. I bring them a lot of fruits from this forest." Gon tells him, picking a dark purple plumb, dusting it off, and eating it.

"I'll have to stop by there some time."

"If you want, we could go together sometime." Gon suggests casually.

"Yeah... I'd like that." Killua smiles.

"Well, let's get running again. There's a grove of pear trees about half a mile further. Right next to a small pond." Gon grins, starting to walk away. When Killua catches up they start running again.

"I really need to get out more often." Killua chuckles. "We're not even ten minutes away from the apartments and it feels like I'm on the other side of the world or something."

"Well, I go running every morning around 7am. I'm a bit late today because of the night shift. But if you're not busy, I could show you around in the mornings." Gon offers.

Killua nods. "Sounds like a plan."

Killua and Gon get back to the apartments a lot later than either of them expected. Gon earlier estimated that they'd be gone for maybe an hour. But they ended up spending six hours on their "run".

When they get back, Killua notices a car in the parking lot. He's back.

Killua sighs. "I-I'll see you later, Gon."

"Mhm. Bye." Gon waves as Killua ascends the staircase.

Killua places his hand on his doorknob, but it doesn't budge. Ross never gave Killua a spare key, so Killua takes a deep breath before knocking.

"Babe..?" Killua closes his eyes tight. "Babe, could you open the door please?"

There's no answer.

"I know you're home, I saw your car." Killua says. Also, Killua certainly didn't lock the door on his way out. "Babe, please?"

There's still no answer.

Killua sighs, turning around. He leans on the door and thinks of any alternative. Anywhere he can stay for the night. 

There's nowhere he can go.

Killua puts his hands in his pockets, walking back down the stairs. He just walks, away from the apartments. He doesn't know where he's going, but that pretty much sums up his life. Aimless, meaningless. With no direction, no street signs advising him on which is the right path. There isn't a google maps for life. Some people are born with a better internal compass, knowing what the best choice is without having to seek it out through trial and error. Killua's internal life compass seems broken, if it ever existed in the first place.

Killua finds himself standing in front of the bench that he'd meet up with Christopher at. The old man isn't there, he's probably back at the nursing home he stays in. But Killua sits down, this bench feels more like a home than the apartment ever will. Despite it being in the middle of a usually busy area, Killua feels safe here on this bench. A kind of safe he hasn't felt in years.

Killua wakes up to a blindingly beautiful sunrise. Seems that at some point he had fallen asleep on the bench. He checks his pockets, and somehow his wallet and phone are still present. It didn't rain, and the night didn't fall below 60 degrees. Killua wasn't even cold. It seems that if there's a god, they decided to take it easy on Killua for one night. Maybe getting locked out of the apartment is exactly what he needed.

Killua yawns, stretching his limbs out. He figures he'll stay there until Christopher arrives. Then Killua remembers the arrangements he made for mornings. He pulls out his phone and sees that it's only 5:03 am. Hence the sun just now rising. He has about an hour and a half before he needs to start heading back to the apartments to meet up with Gon.

Killua gets to his feet, walking across the street. There's hardly any traffic at this time and even fewer pedestrians. Luckily McDonald's is open, so Killua heads there to get some breakfast.

He goes over to the kiosk, which he didn't use when he went with Chris since this stuff confuses the old man. He orders a Sausage and Egg McMuffin, an Oreo McFlurry, and some cookies. He might as well eat something he'll need to burn off during their run.

He sits down at a window seat to observe the sunset while it lasts. It only lasts for a few more seconds before turning to the colors of the day. Such a beautiful thing yet always so short lived.

"Order 102?" A man calls from behind the counter. Killua gets up and goes over to pay. "That'll be $6.38 please."

Killua takes out a $5 and two $1's. "Here."

The cashier hands him the change and his order. "Enjoy your meal."

"Thanks."

Killua goes to sit down at his seat, and starts eating his McMuffin. He scrolls through his phone as he chews, looking through texts. Ross hasn't texted him yet, and Killua assumes he's not welcome back home yet either.

Killua puts in some earbuds and starts listening to his Spotify playlist.

>Daydream  
Life feels like a daydream  
And I just wish that I could wake up  
I just wish that I could wake up  
My mind  
Whispers in the nighttime  
Voices always keeping me up  
Telling me that I should give up<

Killua hums along to the lyrics as he eats.

>I don't wanna be sad forever  
I don't wanna be sad no more  
I don't wanna wake up and wonder  
What the hell am I doing this for?  
I don't wanna be medicated  
I don't wanna go through that war  
I don't wanna be sad, I don't wanna be sad  
I don't wanna be sad anymoreI don't wanna be sad forever  
I don't wanna go one more day  
I just wanna wake up and realize  
Everything's gonna be okay  
I don't know how else to say it  
I don't wanna go through that war  
I don't wanna be sad, I don't wanna be sad  
I don't wanna be sad anymore<

Gon wakes up and starts brewing some coffee. As it brews, he takes a shower. Scrubbing his hair, washing his body. Two minutes and he's done. He brushes his hair quickly, carelessly. Leaving it looking more messed up than it did before the shower. He sifts through his drawers, picking out some black shorts that reach his knees and a black long sleeve athletic shirt. He pulls on his knee-high white socks and then slips into his forest green and black running shoes.

After he's dressed he gets a 20 oz coffee mug, fills it to the brim with the blackest of coffee, and starts chugging it. Most would not be able to just chug black coffee like that, but most people are not Gon Freecss.

Energized and dressed, Gon heads out the door and makes his way to Killua's apartment.

"Gon!" Killua calls out from the parking lot as Gon was half way up the stairs.

Gon turns around. "Oh, Killua! Hey!" He runs back down. "You ready?"

Killua shrugs. "Yeah, sure."

"Alright." Gon grins, walking by Killua's side out of the parking lot. "Which way do you wanna go this time?"

"I don't care."

Gon nods, and then closes his eyes and spins in a circle. Killua laughs at his childish behavior when Gon comes to a stop. "That way it is!" Gon cheers, pointing back at the apartment building.

"Uhm..." Killua scoffs. "That's the apartment building."

"Yknow the world doesn't end on the other side of the building." Gon chuckles. "There's a bike trail perfect for a morning run right behind."

Killua shrugs. "Alrighty then. Let's go."

A few hours later, Gon and Killua stop to take a break. Killua huffs, "Don't.. You.. have to.. get to work?"

"No worries." Gon pants. "I start at noon."

"What time is it??"

"Nine thirty something." Gon sighs, sitting down on a public bench. "In the meantime, wanna go check out that bakery?"

"That sounds great." Killua agrees. They get up, and start walking down the trail again.

"If we take the next right, it should lead us back into town." Gon says. "We're maybe a fifteen minute walk from the bakery."

Killua nods. "Oh, uhm- can we exchange numbers? It'll make getting together like this a little easier..."

"Yeah, sure.." Gon blushes, handing Killua his phone. Killua takes it and puts his number in Gon's contacts. Then he copies Gon's number into his own phone before giving Gon's phone back.

They make it to the bakery eventually, and Gon takes Killua to the counter. Killua notices it's the same bakery that Chris told him about. What was that girl's name...

"Oh, good morning Gon!" A teenage girl in an apron walks up to the counter. "What can I get you?"

"Morning Ophelia," Gon grins. "This is my neighbor, Killua. We'll have some apple pie. Anything else, Killua? I'm paying."

Killua shakes his head. "No, no. I don't want to b-"

"I insist." Gon nudges him. "The prices are hardly anything anyways, so don't worry about it."

Killua sighs. "What sort of drinks do you have?" He asks Ophelia.

"Oh! Here's a catalog of our beverages." She hands Killua a cutely decorated pink laminated paper.

Killua scans through it. Gon was right, these prices are pretty low. "Uhm... I-I'll have a large chocolate milk."

"I'll have a large orange juice." Gon smiles.

Ophelia nods, jotting it all down on a notepad. "Alrighty.. I'll be back in a few minutes with your order! It was nice meeting you, Killua!"

As Ophelia leaves, Killua then remembers she's the one Chris told him about. Such a bright, cheery girl. But by no means an airhead.

Gon and Killua take seat across from eachother at a small round table. Killua looks around, smiling at all of the cute decorations. That's when something brushes past Killua's leg, rubbing against it. Killua looks up at Gon, who's reading something in the newspaper that was on the table. Killua glances under the table.

He makes eye contact with a grey and white tabby cat. It mewls at him, continuing to rub itself all over Killua's leg.

Gon sets down the paper and looks underneath the table as well. "Seems Tavian likes you." Gon grins.

"Tavian?"

"The cat. His name is Tavian." Gon tells him. "He's usually pretty shy, but he's really friendly if he likes you."

Killua hums. "Is it okay to pick him up?"

"Only if you don't have a problem with his unconditional love." Gon chuckles.

Killua smiles, lifting the cat onto his lap. Tavian purrs, rubbing his head into Killua's hand as his tail curls up and his back arches.

"He wants you to pet him." Gon says.

Killua pets Tavian's head, and Tavian moves around so Killua's hand pets the rest of his body, too. "He purrs like the engine of an old car." Killua scoffs, grinning.

"Here's your order!" Ophelia comes back with their pie and drinks. "Oh- you're not allergic to cats, are you?"

"No, I'm not." Killua smiles.

"Whew. That's good." Ophelia laughs. "Enjoy!"

Tavian hops off Killua's lap and follows Ophelia as she leaves. Killua pouts, missing the little fur ball. He turns his attention to the slice of pie in front of him instead. He takes his fork and picks up a bite, eating it. Gon was right when he said this bakery makes an amazing apple pie. The flavor of the wild apples is accentuated and complimented by all of the spices used.

"Wow... this really is amazing." Killua hums, taking another bite.

Gon swallows a bite of his own slice. "Mhm. Ophelia's actually the mastermind behind this recipe."

"You two seem close. You really come here a lot, don't you?"

Gon nods. "Yeah. I'm friends with the owner of the bakery, I've known Ophelia since she started working here a few months ago."

Killua hums, eating more pie. "So uh.. what do you do for work?"

"I work for Costco." Gon shrugs. "Usually they give me things like moving cargo and stock around, since I'm young and healthy. Do you work, or..?"

Killua shakes his head. "No. I never even finished high school."

"Why's that?" Gon asks.

"I ran away when I was sixteen." Killua tells him. "The dumbass I was just decided it'd be fine to move to the other side of the country without any credentials."

"I guess we have one thing in common, then." Gon hums.

Killua raises an eyebrow. "You ran away?"

"Ran away, got kicked out, practically the same thing. But luckily I had my credentials with me." Gon sighs, sipping some orange juice. "I was also sixteen."

"What happened?" Killua asks.

"My dad just didn't want me anymore. I would've moved in with my aunt but she had to take care of my great grandmother full time." Gon explains. "He helped me get my GED and then threw my bags into the driveway. Told me to take the Camry and beat it. What about you?"

"I was just a rebellious idiot." Killua sighs. "Had life handed to me on a silver platter and decided to throw it into the fire. Just for the heck of it."

Gon nods. "Real success stories we are, huh?"

Killua laughs. "Yeah."

"Have you talked to your family since then?" Gon asks.

Killua runs a hand through his hair. "No..."

"What??" Gon gasps. "Do you not have their contact information?"

Killua does. For the first few years after he ran away he had to ignore so many calls and texts from them. So many voicemails he hasn't opened. But he's scared. Eventually their calls slowed down. He still gets voicemails and emails from them, about once a month.

Killua sighs. "I'm just not ready for that confrontation yet..."

Gon frowns, nodding. "Alright... I understand that. But... you should at least let them know you're alive. Maybe just send them a text or an email, that way you don't have to read their response if you're not ready."

"I don't know if I can..."

"I could help you? Heck, I could write it for you so you don't have to." Gon offers.

Killua narrows his eyes at Gon. "Why are you so intent on helping me? I mean... not that I mind. It's kinda nice. But..."

Gon shrugs. "Because. I don't know you all that well but... we've been neighbors for three years. You're not a bad person, and we get along. I'd like to consider you a friend at this point. And... well, I just want to help you. I can't not help you."

Killua scoffs, smiling. "Yknow... it's been a long time since I've made friends."

Gon grins. "Well, I'm happy to break that trend."

Killua laughs, ending with a sigh. "Yeah..."

"Calm down, it'll be fine." Gon rubs circles on Killua's back. The two hover over Killua's phone as his thumb shakes above the send button.

Gon had helped Killua get the courage to write out an email to his family. Letting them know he's alive, basically. Killua didn't include any of the not-so-fun details of his life, though. It's short, just a few sentences. Gon would've written a whole essay if he were Killua, but he doesn't judge Killua. 

'Hey, this is Killua. Uhm... I'm alive. Sorry for not reaching out or answering your attempts to reach me.'

Killua sighs, sending the email to his family. He made sure to include each of their emails, so they'll all get it.

"Yknow... my youngest brother was twelve when I left... he'd be eighteen now..." Killua smiles sadly. "He was so little back then... not even up to my shoulders. He's a man now, and I missed all of it..."

Gon sighs. "You can't beat yourself up about it forever. You made a mistake, and you've realized that. That's the first step in redemption. And now you're trying to earn that redemption."

Killua tucks his phone away. "Thanks for... well, everything this past week. From the night you knocked on my door to helping me reach out to my family."

"It's no problem, really." Gon grins.

"It's almost noon..." Killua looks up at the big clock on the side of the street. "You should get to work."

Gon nods. "Yeah. I've gotta get my car from the apartment building, first. Let's go?"

Killua looks down the street, thinking. "Uhm... nah. I've gotta meet up with another friend in a bit."

Gon smiles. "Alright. I'll see you later, Kil!"

Killua blushes at the nickname, waving goodbye. "Yeah. I'll see you later, Gon."

Gon turns around and starts walking back to the apartments, while Killua heads for the bench that he meets Christopher at. The old man is already there, reading the local newspaper.

"What's crack-a-lackin'?" Killua jokes.

Chris scoffs. "Some Karen lady called the cops because she wasn't invited to her neighbor's barbecue."

Killua snorts, hand on his mouth.

"What 'bout you?" Christopher asks.

Killua swings his legs back and forth. "Well... on the subject of neighbors. I've been spending some time with one of mine. I'm starting to really like him."

Chris grins, giving Killua a sideways glance. "That handsome young fella you were runnin with earlier?"

Killua nods. "That would be him."

"So do you like him or you like like him?" Chris asks, wiggling his thin white eyebrows.

Killua laughs, leaning back on his chair. "I don't know yet. I'd like to see where it goes, though."

Christopher nods. "Good answer."

"Anything interesting happening in the nursing home?" Killua asks.

"Matilde, a real ol' lil hag, went and nearly killed a poor young man." Christopher rolls his eyes. "Ditn't take much. She just rounded the corner and looked him right in the eyes through those deep black sockets of 'er's. Poor guy looked he he'd seen a ghost. I'm half convinced she actually is one."

Killua laughs, holding his stomach. "Pffffffft-"

When Killua gets home, the door is still locked. Killua groans in frustration, turning to go back down the stairs. As he's walking down the street back to the bench a car stops next to him. The window rolls down and Killua sees Gon, who's on his way back home after work.

"Heya. Where you going?" Gon asks.

"I'm locked out." Killua shrugs.

Gon's brows furrow. "What? Do you have somewhere to sleep for the night?"

Killua scratches his cheek, looking down. "No..."

"Get in the car, you can stay with me." Gon offers.

"Really?" Killua's eyes widen. "I-I don't want to be any trouble."

"It's not any trouble. Besides. We're friends, aren't we? What kind of friend would I be if I don't help you in a time of need?" Gon smiles, unlocking the car doors. "Come on."

Killua sighs, smiling. He walks around to the other side of the car and gets in the passenger seat.

"Were you locked out last night, too?" Gon asks.

"Yeah... how'd you guess?"

"This morning. When I was about to knock, you were just running into the parking lot. In the same outfit you had worn yesterday." Gon explains. "It seemed off."

"Yeah..." Killua sighs. "Ross probably didn't like that I wasn't home when he got back..."

"Who's Ross?" Gon asks.

"Your actual neighbor. I just live with him, since..." Killua takes a deep breath. "He's sorta my boyfriend."

Gon grips the steering wheel. "No offense to you, but your boyfriend seems like a dick."

"I guess he is..."

Gon parks in front of his apartment on the ground floor. "Is it really worth it, sticking with him?" Gon asks, the car turns off but neither make a move to get out.

"No." Killua states.

"Then why are you still with him?" Gon asks.

Killua looks into Gon's eyes. "I've told you. I ran away when I was sixteen with no credentials and nothing more than pocket change. I have no where else to go."

"You have me." Gon points out, pink spreading across his cheeks. "I-I mean you could stay with me. Until you get on your feet. No matter how long it takes."

"That's sweet of you, Gon, but..." Killua trails off. But what..? What excuse do I really have?

"Just... think about it." Gon opens his door, getting out of the car. Killua climbs out as well, following to Gon's apartment.

Gon unlocks his front door and walks inside, leaving the door open for Killua. Killua closes the door behind him and stands awkwardly by the entrance. Gon takes off his coat, hanging it on a hook. He walks over to the kitchen and opens up the fridge.

"Make yourself at home." Gon says. "Are you hungry?"

"Y-yeah..." Killua walks further into the apartment, sitting on the couch in the main room.

Killua looks around. It's the same layout as Ross's apartment, being in the same building and all. But it doesn't feel cramped or cold. It feels homey. Killua doesn't feel like he's in a jail cell, sitting here on Gon's couch. Awkward, sure. But he feels safe, at least. Gon has a few collages of photographs hung on the walls. They're scrapbook style, with little comic-like captions and stickers plastered on them. There's a few plants here and there. Killua also notices a small bed for a pet. A small dog or a cat. 

"Here." Gon hands Killua a plate of mashed potatoes, bacon, and gravy. He sits next to Killua on the couch with his own food. 

"Thanks." Killua tells him. He picks up the fork and starts eating.

...

"You can sleep in here." Gon opens the door to the second bedroom. "The mattress doesn't have a bed frame, sorry." 

"It's fine, Gon." Killua smiles. "Thanks for doing this." 

Gon grins. "Anytime! Tell me if you need anything, alright? Don't be afraid to wake me up." 

Killua nods. "Alright." 

Gon closes the bedroom door, and Killua takes a seat on the bed. He leans back, exhaling a long, relieved sigh. 

How did I manage to meet someone like him? 

Killua smiles, turning over to lay on his side. He pulls the blankets over his body and snuggles his face into the pillows. Eyes closed, he drifts off into sleep.

Killua sits up in bed, stretching his arms and yawning. He smells something from outside the room. It smells good. 

Killua gets up and exits the bedroom, seeing Gon in the kitchen. He's preparing breakfast.

Killua smiles, walking up behind Gon silently. Once he's right next to Gon, he whispers. "What's this?" 

Gon flinches. "Oh- g'morning Killua. Uhm- I-I'm just making some crêpes..." 

"Oooh. Delicious." Killua grins. 

Gon flips the crepes in the pan, trying to hide the blush on his face. "Mhm." 

Killua leaves Gon to it, going to sit on the couch. He turns his phone on, checking texts. Finally he got a text from Ross. 

Ross:  
Sorry babe. The car was out of gas, that's why it was at the apartment. I haven't been home. But I am home now. Where are you? 

Killua's heart flutters, reading the text. He scolds himself for it, hating the way Ross can still make him feel like that. Killua shoves the phone back in his pocket, not responding. 

Wait... 

Why did he even mention the car? 

Killua's eyes widen. There's no way Ross would lie about being home... would he? 

Killua bites his lip. For what reason would Ross lie? And why was Killua locked out? Was Ross just mad, or is there something else going on..? 

Gon sets a plate on the coffee table in front of Killua. Killua blinks, snapping out of his trance. "Oh, thanks." Killua says, picking up the plate. 

"You're welcome." Gon hums, eating. 

A few hours later Gon leaves for work. He told Killua he's free to stay if he wants. He even gave Killua a spare key in case he needs in when Gon's not home. 

Killua smiles, on his way to the bench he meets Chris at. He stops to pick up the daily newspaper on the way. That way he can have some common ground to talk about. Chris isn't at the bench yet, so Killua sits down and starts reading the news. 

Killua laughs, reading more ridiculous stories about people being idiots. He skips the sports section, having no interest. Then he gets to his favorite part, the little comics in the back. 

Killua finishes reading most of the newspaper after about thirty minutes. Chris still isn't here, so he reads the parts he skipped. 

"W-what..." 

Killua stands up, eyes wide. He starts running down the street, in search of a certain building. He runs faster and faster, asking a few people for directions. Finally he arrives. 

The Thornton Retirement Home. 

Killua enters, going to the front desk. Panicked, he asks. "E-excuse me? I'm here for Christopher Helens. Killua Zoldyck, I'm a friend of his." 

The lady behind the desk sighs, looking at Killua sympathetically. She looks through some files and hands a decorated flier to him. "I'm sorry for your loss." She says. 

Killua stares at the flier. An invitation to Christopher's funeral.

Killua didn't go home that day. Not to Ross's. Not to Gon's. He slept at the bench, and didn't leave. He would just sit there, hugging his knees to his chest. Watching life unfold for others just like Chris would do everyday.

Could Killua have done something to save him? Chris? Was there some way somehow... to save a life?

Killua doesn't know what he's doing. Still in this world. For what reason? Why should he stay here? His family? He loves them, sure. But they're not here. And that's Killua's fault. And he can't go back. They're thousands of miles away. Life just feels... empty. No diploma, no job, no love, no family, no purpose. Why go on? It's like he's just drifting with no destination. So why not make a destination? Right here? Right now? 

Suddenly Gon's smile comes to mind. "You could stay with me. Until you get on your feet. No matter how long it takes." 

Killua smiles, thinking back on the time he spent with Gon. But is that enough? Is that really enough to continue this aimless life? 

Killua sighs, opening up his phone. It's not like he even has any supplies to kill himself right now... unless he runs out in front of a car. But that would put others in danger... and that's the last thing Killua wants.

Later, Killua goes up to Ross's apartment. Shoving down all of his emotions again. He takes a deep breath, and turns the handle. It opens, and Killua steps inside. 

"Ross?" Killua calls out. 

Ross comes out from the bathroom, drying his auburn hair with a towel. "Oh. There you are, Killua. Where've you been?" 

Killua gulps. "Just walking around town... since I couldn't get into the apartment I figured I'd explore a bit..." 

"Why didn't you text me back?" Ross asks. 

Killua shrugs. "I uh..." Killua's eyebrows furrow, landing on an object stuffed halfway under the couch. Killua points to it. "Ross... is that a-" 

Ross steps in front of Killua, blocking his view. "Why didn't you text me back, Killua?" 

Killua glares up at Ross, and shoves him aside. Ross grabs him harshly by the wrist just as Killua grabbed the object he saw under the couch. 

"Are you..." Killua's eyes widen, looking at the indigo bra in his hands. "Are you cheating on me?" 

Ross scoffs. "That's my sister's. You know she likes to crash here sometimes." 

Killua smiles. "Oh yeah. That's right. How is she? Haven't seen her in a while..." 

"She's doing good. She's on her way to vacation in Russia right now-" 

"Ross. I cleaned this place spotless just five days ago." Killua glares. "Your sister hasn't been here in three months." 

Ross scoffs. "Are you calling me a liar?" 

"Isn't that what a cheater is?" Killua shoots back. "A lying, cheating-" 

Slap! 

"Are you really talking back to me?" Ross glares. He grabs Killua by the hair. "Seems you've developed an attitude lately. Do I have to correct your behavior again?" 

Killua grabs Ross's arm, clenching down on it with his nails. "Go to hell." 

Ross laughs, throwing Killua on the ground. He cracks his knuckles and takes off his belt before unbuttoning his pants. "Behavior correction it is." 

Killua's eyes widen, and he doesn't hesitate to swing his leg up into Ross's crotch. Ross falls to his knees, face turning purple. Killua quickly stands up and snags Ross's car keys as he runs out the door. 

Killua hurries to Ross's car, just as Ross regained composure and chases him down. Before Ross can get him Killua gets in the car and locks the doors. Ross bangs his fists on the window of the driver's seat, screaming at Killua to open the door. 

Killua's eyes tear up. All of his emotions and everything that's been piling up starts overflowing. Choking on his sobs he huddles up in his seat and cries his heart out.

Suddenly the banging stops. 

Killua looks up to see Gon, who's caught Ross's hands in his. Gon glares at Ross, crushing his arm. Killua stares, unable to hear what the other two are saying. 

Eventually Ross rips his arms away from Gon and stomps away. Gon leans down and knocks on the car door, smiling empathetically. 

Killua wipes the tears from his eyes quickly and unlocks the doors. Gon opens up the driver door. "Hey... are you okay?" Gon asks, squatting down in front of Killua. 

Killua sniffles, swiping his arm across his nose. "Does it look like I'm okay?" Killua laughs, trying to smile. 

Gon puts a hand on Killua's thigh. "If you want to talk, I'm here." 

Killua scoffs, grabbing Gon's shirt and pulling him up into a hug. Gon's eyes widen, cheeks turning scarlet. "Thanks..." Killua mumbles. 

Gon grins, hugging back. "Of course." 

Killua sighs, letting go of Gon. "Sorry it's just... I don't know..." 

"You can tell me." Gon says, smiling kindly. "I don't judge." 

"Can we go to your place?" Killua asks. 

Gon nods. "Sure thing."

Once inside Killua opens up about everything that's been going on. Fully taking advantage of Gon's readiness to listen and help. After several lengthy time increments of crying and pouring out his heart, they end the day with several tubs of ice cream and watching Studio Ghibli movies until they fall asleep together on the couch. 

In the morning, they go to the cops. They report Ross for abuse and rape among other things. Gon's facial expression, as Killua explained everything to them in detail, nearly made one of the cops shit themselves. One cop was worried that Gon would go and kill Ross himself. 

After some legal issues and an investigation, Ross was finally arrested. Six years with no bail in the county prison. 

Killua moved all of his stuff, as little as he has, into the spare room of Gon's apartment. Gon also got Killua into free online classes to get his GED. Killua started working at a local library when he's not with Gon or studying. His tutor, Leorio, is a friend of Gon's from high school.

Margaret, the woman who lives above, visits regularly to check in on the boys. Mostly Killua, she's taken quite a liking to him. Once or twice a week she'd come by with homemade goods for the boys to share. Sometimes Gon would invite her to stay for dinner. She also started teaching Killua how to not burn everything he tries to cook. Now he can at least manage cooking some store bought frozen meals.

After living together for almost a month, Killua falls for Gon. Hard. They both understand that they each have feelings for eachother. But they take things nice and slow. Not even officially going out yet. They're just in this stage of "We love eachother, and we both know that, so why change something good?" When they're ready, they'll become official. But for now, they're comfortable just, well, being them. With eachother. Occasionally flirting. Always cuddling.

They kiss once. One morning Killua and Gon woke up after binging shows all night. They open their eyes in eachother's arms. And with smiles their lips naturally meet. A sweet, warm, chaste, good morning kiss. 

Eventually, Killua ends up spending half his nights cuddling with Gon to sleep. Both finding comfort in the embrace. 

Killua hasn't cut or harmed himself even once since he moved in with Gon. Hasn't even crossed his mind. Killua's stunned by that realization.

A week later, Killua dresses as nicely as his wardrobe allows. He puts on nice black jeans and a long sleeve white shirt, combing his hair back. Gon dresses pretty much the same, but the two wear different jackets. Killua a black jean jacket, and Gon a leather one. 

They get into Gon's car and he drives them to the Thornton Retirement Home. They get out and head inside, Killua showing them his invitation to the funeral. They're let into the large room where they host it. Killua picks up a program, which includes pictures and details of Christopher's life. And a schedule for the funeral. In it, Killua sees a picture of Christopher's late son. A bright young man with a kind smile. 

The only living family member Christopher has left is his foster sister, who's twenty years younger than him, she's 63 now. It says that she's more like a daughter to him, since he started taking care of her after their parents died. Killua sees the picture of her and looks around, hoping to see her. She must be going through a lot. 

He spots her waving at a group of people before walking to the back where there's refreshments. She pours a glass of wine and drinks it, while Killua approaches her. Gon hangs back a little. 

"Uh... hi..." Killua clears his throat. 

She looks up at him and hums. "Hello there. I don't think we've met?" 

"I'm Killua... a friend of Chris's from town.." Killua tells her. 

"Mm." She smiles. "He certainly was one to make a lot of friends. Made him quite the happy guy." 

"I'm sorry for your loss." Killua sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. 

She sets her wine down. "Oh... it's alright. It was his time. I'm just glad he can be with Jayson and Gloria again. He's missed them so much..." 

"His son and wife, right?" Killua asks. 

"That's right." She nods. "So tell me... how'd you meet him?" 

"Went out for a smoke one morning and ended up taking him to McDonald's." Killua snorts. 

She laughs a little. "That sure sounds like him." 

She and Killua end up having a nice long discussion about Chris. Both learning a lot about him from the other. Then the session starts, and Gon and Killua find their seats. Neither boy is religious, but Killua still appreciates the sermon given in Christopher's honor. The whole event was pleasant, carried out just the way old man would've wanted. Killua got to know so many people from his life. So many stories. By time they leave and the sun sets, Killua feels refreshed. At peace.

The next week, Gon and Killua find themselves on the coast of Florida. Nervous, Killua raises his fist. But he can't bring himself to knock. He just can't. Gon squeezes his hand in comfort, giving Killua strength. Taking a deep breath, Killua pounds his fist onto the large double doors of the mansion. 

"W-was that loud enough? Damnit I should've used the knocking thingy. Should I knock again? Would that be overdoing it?" Killua panics. 

"Killua calm down." Gon soothes him. "It's fine. Knock again in a bit if need be." 

Killua sighs, nodding. "You're right- You're right. Sorry." 

"Don't be." Gon smiles. 

After a few moments, the door creaks open. "Who-" the butler's eyes widen. "K-Killua? Is that really you?" 

Killua smiles awkwardly, tightening his grip on Gon's hand. "Hi... Gotoh..." 

Gotoh raises a hand to his mouth, tears in the corners of his eyes. "Please do come in come in! I- I'll go get the master and mistress at once!" 

Gon and Killua step into the mansion and Gotoh hurries off. Within a minute several other butlers arrive and embrace Killua. 

"You're back!"  
"You're okay!"  
"Dear heavens boy, look at you! You're all grown up!"  
"I can't believe it!" 

Killua sniffles, his eyes getting watery. Before long Gotoh comes back with his parents. His mother gasps, eyes wide. 

"Killua!!" His mom runs into his arms, clutching him as she sobs into his shirt. "You're here..! My baby you're okay..." 

His father sniffles, holding back tears. He wraps his large arms around his son and wife. "Welcome home, son." 

Killua now lets himself go, sobbing as he clutches to his parents that he hasn't seen in over six years. The parents that thought he was dead until he sent them that email over a month ago. The parents that have loved him wholeheartedly his entire life. 

"Oniichan!!!" Kalluto joins the hug, crying. He's taller than Killua now, eighteen years old. His long hair in a bun. 

"I've called the others, they're on their way from their own homes." Gotoh says, referring to the rest of the Zoldyck family. 

Killua smiles. "Thank you... Gotoh..."

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count: 11658
> 
> My second one-shot 😃 
> 
> Whoopdeedoo... this took forever lmao. I started this back in August 2020. And from August-January 2021 I only had 1400 words. Serious case of writers block. But then BOOM one night at 3am I had a creative burst and turned that 1.4k words into 6k. And then from mid January to Feb 13 I finished the rest of it.
> 
> I originally planned this to be 5k words, not much longer than my first one-shot. Then around 9k words I panicked thinking I was only half way through the story. So I went back and recalibrated the plot line and decided to make it 10k. Luckily I didn't go too much over that haha-
> 
> So uh- hoped you enjoyed! Damn this is long. I commend anyone that put up with my writing for so long lmao.


End file.
